Friday, May 14, 2010

Ching Ching


She looks at my nose, my hat, my shoes.

She shakes her head.

She jots down some notes.

She lifts my lapel, takes a close look at my gold science club pin, the one I’ve been wearing since high school, how any years ago now?

She’s pretty. High cheekbones, long hair. Not what I expected.

“So what happened here?” she asks me.

She reaches into my pocket, grabs my wallet, starts thumbing through it. No money. I could have sworn I had a couple hundred bucks in there.

She shakes her head. She stares into my eyes. She has green eyes. Not what I expected at all.

“I’m done,” she says, standing. “Tag him and bag him.”

Guess I’m done, too. May as well go toward the light now.

8 comments:

Matthew Glenn Ward said...

Wow, like it. Nice rhythm. - Matt

peggy said...

What'll happen to the science pin now?

I'm impressed with how few words you used to give maximum impact. Nice.

Jen Brubacher said...

Unexpected! Perfectly balanced piece, and like Matthew said, great rhythm. I like it.

John Wiswell said...

Poor recently departed. Hopefully the teacher who gave him that pin is waiting in the light. They'll have a lot to discuss.

Carrie said...

I like the death theme we have this week. Wait. I forgot to kill my character although a bird got his. Heehee. Wonderful Neil.

shannon said...

Robbed & murdered? Poor guy. At least he sees a light :-) Nice compact piece of flash!

ganymeder said...

Amazed at how you packed so much into so few words. Nice.

Donald Conrad said...

So much for the couple of hundred bucks.