Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Lucky Charms

Hey look! A short short story of mine is in the Unluck of the Irish anthology. The story I contributed is called Lucky Charms. Yes, it features a leprechaun.


UPDATE 3/17/11
It's been a year since the anthology came out, so I thought I'd go ahead and share the full story here....


LUCKY CHARMS

“You can take the end of that rainbow and shove it up your arse,” the little green bastard said.

Not what I was expecting. I mean, I’d followed the instructions, handed down from time immemorial, and now I wanted my pot of freakin’ gold. How hard was it supposed to be? Fortunately, I like to be prepared. So I pulled out my .45.

“I didn’t want it to have to be this way,” I said. “I always thought it was a natural thing. You find the guy, he gives you the gold. But if you’re going to be difficult about this, well, I can be difficult, too.”
            
“Oh, whoop de do,” he said, rolling his eyes. “A gun. I’m a bloody leprechaun. You really think bullets will have any effect on me?”
            
He stuck out his tongue and did a stupid little dance.
              
“Listen,” I said, “I don’t want to cause trouble, I just want what’s coming to me. I got a lot of heat on me right now, and I really need the money. So just hand it over.”
            
“Go screw yourself.”
            
“How about this,” I said. “I’m a reasonable guy. We can split it. I’ll take, you know, half.”
            
He stared at me.
           
“60-40?”
            
He turned, dropped his pants and mooned me.
           
“Fine,” I said. Then I shot the little bastard in the head. Huh. Whaddaya know. Leprechauns have green blood.

4 comments:

Laura Eno said...

Green blood...that's great! :)

Tim King said...

That's a good little story. Very funny.

-TimK

Corinne O'Flynn said...

that poor creature. How's your luck been since you offed a green man? ;)

Happy St. Patrick's day to you Neil.

That Neil Guy said...

Hmmm. Good point, Corinne. This past year hasn't been the luckiest one on record. Perhaps I need to write a now pro-leprechaun story to make amends...