Toys I Never Had - Volume 1

I never did have a Stretch Armstrong.

Thing is, I never really wanted one.

One of my friends did have one and it seemed to be fairly useless in our adventures with GI Joes. Now these were the real GI Joes, the 12" tall versions with lifelike hair and kung-fu grip, and an infinite number of war-like accessories, so Stretch was certainly of the same relative scale, if a little bit big, that he could have figured in our adventures, if nothing else as some sort of villain. But there was just something one dimensional and, well, non-moving about him that made him useless to us. He couldn't hold a rifle or fit inside the adventure team helicopter. Sure, you could stretch him out like in the commercials, but once the stretching was done, so was the fun.