My Latest Creation

Here's a chair I built for a client. They wanted sort of an art piece that was also, well, a chair. The designer sketched out an idea, Bob drew up some real plans and I built it, out of red cedar, then painted it. The metal grill was built by a local fellow and installed by me using the amazing technology of screws.

Damn It, You've Got To Be Kind

Inspired by a recent post on my High School pal Russ' blog, I'm posting the sort of philosophical worldview I'm trying to implement for myself. It's so easy to get reeled in by the exploding violence around the world and tumultuous economic news that I, for one, can easily find myself living in a cloud of negative thoughts.

So I'm trying to follow some ideas from Kurt Vonnegut's wonderful novel God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater. In it, Vonnegut notes that there is no instruction manual to accompany our arrival here on this planet, but if there were one, this is what he thinks it should say:

“Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you’ve got about a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies — ‘God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.’ ”

So I've been using that to help combat the oppressive negativity and feeling of doom that easily permeates my consciousness. First off, I'm trying hard to be kind. Always and to everyone. And it's not as easy as it sounds. Meanwhile, of course, the Bible could be seen as an instruction manual of sorts, and based on stuff we've been talking about in Sunday school, I'm trying to make sure I see every single person as a child of God and, even more, the very image of God. The only thing I can change is me, the only place I can interact is right here in front of me in my everyday actions here in my town. So I try not to focus on the tanking economy and the evil hatred that explodes internationally. I'm trying to just focus on being kind to everyone and seeing everyone as a child of God. I want to be a light to the world, to live my life as a thank you note to God, and the only way to do it is to see the beauty in everything around me, everything and everyone. Of course, it's darned near impossible and I see myself as mean-spirited and harshly judgmental. But I'm trying, damn it, I'm trying...

Impoverished

It's blog action day.

So I've been thinking about poverty and, to be honest, it's something that's been bugging me for years.

In the Bible, Jesus talked about poverty, like, 90 million times. Jesus talked about abortion, gays, flag burning and other hot button topics exactly zero times.

So why aren't we having a war on poverty? Why isn't every Christian doing what Jesus commanded: give everything you have to the poor.

"Oh," you say, "but Jesus said the poor will always be with you. So, you know, don't worry about the poor and save yourself."

Okay, did you read the whole story? He says it in response to Judas (of all people) giving Mary Magdalene a hard time for buying some oil to pour on J's feet in those last days. And Jesus, in effect, says, "Look, you'll have your whole life to help the poor. But I'm only going to be here for a couple more days. So chill out, Judas."

So why do we spend so much time trying to proof-text hot button issues and find excuses to get around Jesus' ideas about helping the poor and loving everyone and turning the other cheek and forgiving your enemies and all those other hard things he asked us to do?

Oh yeah -- because they're hard to do.

Or am I reading a different Bible than everyone else?

Our Big Finale

The Break Time Players, at the art museum. This was our final number and we decided to encourage some audience participation...

Does This Make Us Art?

The Break Time Players -- Bob Ripley on guitar and me on saxophone -- were invited to play at the local art museum last week. So we did.

Here's a brief excerpt.

Happy Breakaway Day!

The New Star Trek

Sneak Preview

Our church publishes short pieces on the cover of our weekly bulletin. I wrote a couple a few years back. I was asked to write a new one to go in the bulletin sometime this November relating to our stewardship campaign. I was inspired and went ahead and wrote it now rather than, as is more typical for me, waiting until late October.

So here it is.


Feeding the Five Thousand


Let me make this one thing perfectly clear: it’s not just about the donuts.

Sure, the donuts are a nice bonus. I mean, last summer, we got donuts after every service. Kind of makes it even more fun to go to church, you know? And we still get donuts every few weeks when new members join our growing church family. So there certainly continue to be numerous opportunities for donuts. And, hey, what could be better than donuts?

Well, there’s also coffee.

And while there’s nothing all that miraculous about donuts and coffee (although together they are a mighty powerful team) and I’m certainly not going to suggest that any kind of transubstantiation occurs when you eat a fried ring of dough covered in powdered sugar, there does remain a certain sense of something special that does occur in their presence.

Let me try to explain.

In the story, Jesus takes five loaves and two fish, looks to heaven, blesses and breaks the loaves, then divides the fish and, when the disciples set them before the gathered crowd of five thousand men (not to mention any additional women or children), all ate and were satisfied.

All of them ate.

We aren’t given an explanation. We don’t get a Sorcerer’s Apprentice style scene in which the loaves and fish start rapidly multiplying and walking themselves through the crowd uncontrolled. We’re simply told that all ate, that all were satisfied and that, most miraculously of all, there were leftovers.

A character in a novel I once read, an Episcopal priest experiencing a crisis of faith, thought that maybe the way the story really happened was that it was as though there were only five loaves and two fishes. The miracle was that the people shared what they had with strangers.

And isn’t that exactly what Jesus repeatedly calls us to do?

Now I could recite the familiar litany of the amazing depth and breadth of mission work our church supports. I could line item the educational, ministerial and charitable opportunities that made our sanctuary burst at the seams. I could give you a spreadsheet that tells you where all the money goes. I could share my testimony of the tremendous difference Westminster Presbyterian Church continues to make in the lives of my whole family.

But all I really want to say is that when we gather together, whether it’s at a worship service, a church supper, a small group meeting or, yes, just a bunch of folks chatting around a table of coffee and donuts, we make a difference. A huge difference, not just in our own lives, but in the lives of people across the upstate and across the world.

So when I drop my envelope into the collection plate, I’m not just doing it for the donuts. I’m doing it to feed the five thousand – and more – people who come away satisfied from Westminster Presbyterian Church.

I Know Nothing

I have no knowledge of John Edwards' alleged love child.

I swear.

I know nothing.

UPDATE: What a jerk.

Jet Pack!!!!

Made of Meat

Read this story. It won't take long. It addresses the idea of why we seem to be alone in the universe.

What's for Dinner

http://view.break.com/534274 - Watch more free videos

Band Practice

Bob and I got caught by a photographer from the local paper while we were out practicing during coffee break time.

Time Travel Advice

Sage words of advice for that inevitable moment when you meet your time traveling self, coming back from the future to confront the current you.

Retro Italian

Thanks to Mr. Meyers, I've been engaging in some Mo Ranch era nostalgia for old Italian pop songs.

It's a long story.

But here's Che Bambola!

And, of course, the greatest of them all -- BoBo Step!

At Last!

Woo hoo! That jet pack I was promised in childhood is finally here!

It runs on gasoline. Sweet. Now I can keep a five gallon can in my shed for the lawnmower and the jet pack.


Hmmm. I imagine it's pricey, though. Anyone got a bunch of money they wanna give me? I'll totally give you a ride...


Thanks to my high school pal John for the link!

Alien or Punisher?

So this guy in Denver held a press conference recently to show his alleged definitive proof that aliens are visiting us.

Shockingly, the footage is the same stupid blurry crap that always passes as definitive proof. When I saw a photo of it, I immediately thought it was a guy wearing a Punisher shirt standing outside the window.

Here's the folks from one of my favorite podcasts, The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe, discussing the event.



The older I get, the more I understand (even in a limited way) about physics and the unimaginably large size of the universe, the more I understand that all this alien visitation garbage is just completely stupid garbage. Sure, there very well may be life out there. But they certainly aren't visiting us. If they were, we'd all know it. I grew up believing in Bigfoot and Chariots of the Gods and all that crap. But the older I get, the stupider and more juvenile and desperate it all seems. I'd love to believe. But give me some real evidence first.

And get me my jetpack while you're at it.

The Logical Choice?

Fascinating.
Can we all now live long and prosper?

More Sparrow

A couple of my favorite quotes from The Sparrow.

"He felt as though he were a prism, gathering up God's love like white light and scattering it in all directions..."
----
"The Jewish sages tell us that the whole of the Torah, the entirety of the first five books of the Bible, is the name of God. With such a name, they ask, how much more is God?"
----
"He found the life of Jesus profoundly moving; the miracles, on the other hand, seemed a barrier to faith, and he tended to explain them to himself in rational terms. It was as though there were only seven loaves and seven fishes. Maybe the miracle was that the people shared what they had with strangers."

TV Barn

When I first started using the internet, way back in, oh 1996 or so, I stumbled across what we would now term a blog called TV Barn. It was run by a fellow named Aaron Barnhart, tv critic of the Kansas City Star newspaper. He began by doing a regular email list about late night tv and wound up getting a gig with the paper, while still maintaining his website. I bookmarked it back then and I've visited it nearly every day since then, lo these ten plus years later. He's changed the look and feel of the site many times over the years (and even fought off leukemia at one point) and the balance he's got now is just great.

He covers tv related news and such in some well written and thought-out articles, but has also added a "what's working for me/what's not" featurette that's a great added bonus. And one of the star attractions remains his ticker, a running list of tv related news items. Now I'm not the biggest tv watcher by any stretch, but I've consistently enjoyed TV Barn and highly recommend you check it out.

Sparrow

So I recently finished reading The Sparrow a novel by Mary Doria Russell. I saw it mentioned a couple of times on Scalzi's blog and finally got a copy. The novel follows a Jesuit priest who, after we receive radio signals from another planet, decides that God is calling him to lead the first expedition to a new world. We jump back and forth in time as we find out what happened to the team and why only our priest protagonist survived. I've long pondered on what impact evidence of life elsewhere would have on religious thought here, and this novel took a look a this question. As it went on, I got more and more drawn in until I found myself wanting to read it all the time. Now I have to decide whether I should take a look at the sequel.

The Amazing Color Changing Card Trick

Movie Moments in Real Life

Remember that scene early on in The Road Warrior when Mad Max sticks pots and pans under a wrecked vehicle to collect the dripping gasoline, then goes over the road with a rag to make sure he sops up every last drop?

Nowadays, I think about that scene every time I fill up my tank.

They Tried To Kill Me With A Fork Lift

Frank's Greatest Album

Frank Jr. once said that this album should be available only by prescription, it's that powerful. He said it's full of suicide songs.

Well, I don't know about that, but Julie and Stephen once came home to find me lying on the floor in the dark listening to this album. It's really an emotional ride if you're suffering from heartbreak. If you're in a good place emotionally, it can still really pack a punch, reminding you of old heartaches. But it's exquisitely beautiful, gorgeously sung and contains many of Frank's all time greatest inspired interpretations of saloon songs ever.

Angel Eyes. One For My Baby. What's New.

It's Sinatra's greatest album ever. Period.


Amazon.com Widgets

We Have A Winner

I'm so pleased that my daughter is going to grow up in a world where this is normal.

Indy racing is the one sport I've always enjoyed. I have vivid memories of watching the Indy 500 with my dad, and cheering the Unser boys and wearing an AJ Foyt T-shirt. It's the one sports event I try to watch every year, and Emma and I had fun watching it last year when another woman driver, Milka, crashed. Emma was rooting for Milka and later that same day, she crashed on her tricycle and excitedly cried that she was now just like Milka!

We'll be cheering for Danica this year. Emma sang a song this morning that went something like this: "I love Danica, she won a trophy just like me!" Emma got a trophy for her ballet recital yesterday, so she and Danica have something in common, you see. And Emma declared that she wants to dress up like Danica for Halloween. Better start shopping for a jumpsuit and helmet. Maybe Shaw can be Emma's pit crew.

Finally -- A Jet Pack?

Check out FusionMan!

Is my dream of owning a jet pack coming closer to a reality...?

Ten Years Later, We Still Miss You

Are You Ready, Boots?

Yippee Ki Yay, Melon Farmer

Watching Die Hard movies on commercial television can be a jarring experience. The Yippee Ki Yay is typically cut off right after Yippee Ki Yay. And other "colorful metaphors" are dubbed. My favorite, by far, occurred in Die Hard 3 when Samuel L. Jackson calls Bruce WIllis a "racist melon farmer." Melon farmer? The best faux expletive ever.

So now here's a clip of Die Hard 2 dubbed for tv. Listen for the expertly done voice that, oddly, sounds absolutely nothing like Bruce Willis.

Exchange Student

Back in high school we had one exchange student each year, My senior year, our school hosted Silvia Callirgos from Peru. I wondered if, through the miracle of the internet, I could find out what she's up to these days. Well, who knew she'd be on YouTube? She shows up most prominently about 3:30 into the piece.

Now if I could just get hold of Russ Siders to translate for me...

Taxi

Okay.

It's easy to rip on Shatner and make fun of his "singing" style. But this clip actually really nails what he's going for. Watch it with an open mind (and just ignore his collar) and you'll actually see a brilliant performance, a monologue-like interpretation of the Harry Chapin song, Taxi.



No, I'm serious.

Sinatra + Jobim = Magic

One of my all-time favorite Frank Sinatra records is his collaboration with Antonio Carlos Jobim.

It's an inspired combination, and here's a medley that gives you a taste of it.



I wish they'd done more than just the one album together.

Shatner Sings The Hits From Camelot

All hail his glorious toupee and bow to the will of the One True Shatner's sage words of advice.

justiceplanes: A Celebration

Here's a tribute to my favorite band, which also happens to be my wife's band. So here's Jennifer, Suzanne, Mark and Brent: justiceplanes.

Retro Fashion

Back in the late seventies, I was a regular subscriber to Starlog, the only magazine that kept me up to date with Star Trek, Star Wars and the other science fiction-y things that so enthralled me. After Battlestar Galactica arrived on the scene, this ad began appearing in the magazine. Cleverly called the Warrior's Battle Jacket, note how it never actually mentions the TV show. But it does let you know how great you'll look in the disco!

I wanted one. Man, did I want one. But they cost a bundle (in 1979 dollars). And since they only ever had this little illustration, never any actual photos of the jacket, I never knew what it would really look like. Would it have that suede look of the ones in the actual series? There was just no way to know.

Until now.

Yes, thanks to the mighty power of the internet, I've managed to find a photo of one of those jackets. So someone out there actually was able to convince his (and, yes, I definitely mean "his" since there's no way any woman would be seen dead in one of these) parents to fork out the dough. And he kept it through the years and eventually posted a photo on the blessed internet.

So here it is, courtesy of ketzer.com.

So it looks a little thin, but I would have worn it to my local disco (if we'd had a disco in our small Iowa farm town).

And here's a more contemporary recreation of the jacket available for purchase.

Looks a little more authentic, I guess. Still would look great at the disco. You can buy one for me, if you'd like. Size large.

Gary Cooper vs the RoboCowboys

The King's Most Perfect Song?

Here's a video of fat Elvis backed by the studio recording of Moody Blue which is, perhaps, the King's most perfect song. It's rock, country and disco -- all at once!

What could be better? Okay. Maybe Burnin' Love. Or Suspicious Minds. Okay, there's a bunch. But come on, country disco rock!

Oh Mighty Shatner

On the news that Shatner is releasing a new musical recording (in which he reads Exodus to orchestral accompaniment) here is some more of the sublime stylings of the man himself.



This one's from his most recent album.

Bean Slurry

So I open up this can of pinto beans, intending to add them to the chili I was cooking. But instead of pinto beans, the can seemed to contain some sort of vile bean-colored slurry, reminiscent, I guess, of refried beans, which would have been fine if I'd intended to open a can of refried beans.

Needless to say, my chili remained beanless.

Rocket Man

All Hail Shatner!

Kung Fu Fighting

My favorite Doctor demonstrating his Venusian Karate skills.

It Was A Very Good Year

Short Story

So I'm trying to put together a website for writing samples and such at neilshurley.com.

Yesterday I posted my short story "Commandments" which was originally published in Rosebud Magazine some years back. Go read it if you're so inclined.

Freakily enough, I found out that the story is discussed in the book A Storied Singer: Frank Sinatra as Literary Conceit (Contributions to the Study of Popular Culture).

Leatherheads Starring George Clooney and Me

So last year, George Clooney and crew came to town to shoot for a few days. I worked one day on the film and this afternoon Jennifer and I went down to the theater and saw the finished product.

Well, what do you know. I made it in. I'm pretty visible, to myself at least, walking on the sidelines at the end of one scene (it's the scene shown in the trailers involving a ref getting slugged).

Guess now I have to buy the dvd...

Get Yer Stinkin Paws Off Me

In honor of the late Charlton Heston, one of the great reveals in cinema history, with chillingly fabulous music by the late, great Jerry Goldsmith.

Lego Shatner - Then and Now

As if we needed more proof, but some people

have way too much time on their hands.

Sleestak Ahoy!

They're making a movie out of this. With Wil Farrell in it. That can't be a good idea - can it?

Go, Flash, Go!

Buck Rogers Opening Credits

A Silver Age Classic

Buck Rogers

A couple days ago, Charlotte blogged about some cheesy movies she liked and included Buck Rogers on the list.

Ah, Buck Rogers, a favorite target of the science club nerd wrath of my friend Taryl Jasper and I. I once gave him a paperback copy of a Buck Rogers novel and he responded by flinging it across the room.

Space was never so spandex-y as in Buck Rogers and it got worse in its second season by becoming just tedious instead of disco space fun.

So on the heels of the announcement from Intrada that they're releasing the soundtrack on cd, I thought I'd look it up on Amazon since I know they released the series on dvd a while back. Imagine my shock when I saw the price.


Holy freakin' space balls! That's five dvds, two complete seasons of seventies cheeseball tv glory for fifteen bucks. How can I not order it...?

Or, as Twiki might say, "Biddy biddy biddy Buy it Now, Buck!"

Michael Jackson/Paul McCartney Revisited

Kung Fu Chipmunk vs Rat Trap

This Week in World Robot Domination

Wisdom

From Scalzi:

Blogging is fun and it can even be useful in a number of ways, but it can also be the writing equivalent of empty calories. It feels like real work, because you’re typing and all, but at the end of it you haven’t written any pay copy, and you’re no closer to something you can submit somewhere than you were when you began. You haven’t done work, and ultimately work is what you need to be doing, if you’re planning to make a go at being a fiction writer.

A Sense of Place

Place three grains of sand inside a vast cathedral, and the cathedral will be more densely packed with sand than space is with stars.

-Sir James Jeans

A Short History of Myth

Our Theology Reading Group recently tackled Karen Armstrong's A Short History of Myth. As the title suggests, it's a brief overview of the role mythology has played across human history. Our discussion, led by a local arts writer, focused primarily on the final -- and most interesting -- chapter, the way myth has essentially vanished over the past few hundred years and the idea that art, in the form of novels and film in particular, have taken over the role in our modern society. Armstrong sees a need for myths as a way to grapple with universal truths. Myths aren't meant to be taken literally, but as extended metaphors to point us toward truth. These days we tend to seek rational explanations over mythic adventures to help us make sense of our world, and many times that's just not enough. The problem as she sees it now is that we tend to look for heroes as we've always done, but now we just want to revere these heroes -- think Elvis and Princess Diana and such. "The myth of the hero was not intended to provide us with icons to admire," Armstrong writes, "but was designed to tap into the vein of heroism within ourselves. Myth must lead to imitation or participation, not passive contemplation."

So does this mean that those folks out there who start Star Wars based churches and Star Trek based dental offices are just tapping into a deeply rooted human need to live out our myths?

The artist who did the image above has way too much times on his hands.

Darth Vader in Love

Phantom Ringtones

A fellow mentioned on a message board I frequent that he uses the beginning brass blast from an Oingo Boingo song as his ringtone. I immediately thought, Wow! If I knew anything about how to make a ringtone somehow get onto my phone, I'd steal that idea.

Then, of course, I started considering other snippets of music I might enjoy having as a ringtone. This one could be fun.

Does this one ring any bells with you? (Ha! Get it?)

What about this one? Bring back any memories?

How about that opening riff from Smoke on the Water? Geez, there's a million of 'em. I guess that's why these kids today get these ringtone things. Maybe a regular old phone ringing sound would be best...

Star Trek and the Holy Grail

Reflections on the Year of Living Biblically

I started this blog in January to document the growth of my beard, as inspired by the book I taught for a Sunday school class.

I originally thought I'd have a hard time dragging the material out over an 8 week span, but as it turns out, I took it slowly and used each class as an occasion to ponder some of the questions raised in the book.

A.J. Jacobs, a writer for Esquire, decided to spend a year trying to follow every rule in the Bible as literally as possible. His previous book, The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World, consisted of him reading the encyclopedia from A to Z, so this was obviously another stunt book. Jacobs grew up as a very secular Jew. As he notes in both books, he is Jewish in the same way that the Olive Garden is Italian, which is to say, not very. So his approach to scripture came from that of a secular Jew -- much more mindful of the Old Testament than the new. Of course, the Old Testament also includes the bulk of the 'rules' so that worked out pretty well for him. This approach also appealed to me since one of the reasons I picked up the book had to do with a question I've long pondered. That is, how should a thoughtful Christian approach the Old Testament? How is it that certain fundamentalist types can point at passages in Leviticus to justify mistreatment of homosexuals, but completely fail to mention the passage on the very next page that bans the wearing of mixed fibers? Why is it okay to hammer a copy of the Ten Commandments on your lawn but completely ignore the laws that come immediately after those ten? Shouldn't it be all or nothing as far as Old Testament rules are concerned?

Of course, most modern Jews don't even follow all the laws in the Bible, and most of those for good reason. But there are still plenty of things in there that could potentially be followed but are instead conveniently ignored. So, I hoped that following Jacobs' journey through biblical literalism could help me grasp the essential dichotomy between Testaments. During the class, I basically traced Jacobs' adventures, sometimes just discussing what happened but frequently stopping to try to discuss the larger questions his actions brought up. In the end, we were able to decide, much like Jacobs did, that it is impossible to follow the Bible literally. Everyone interprets the Bible. It's part of the beauty of the book. It's not a static rule book. It's a way for God to speak to you, not a flat recording of God's actions in the past.

Jacobs didn't end up becoming religious after his year, but he did become more aware of the power of giving thanks and also learned to appreciate, I think, the difficulty and power involved with making our own decisions, with having free will. When he stopped living a life of trying to follow a list of over 700 rules, he felt overwhelmed with the many choices he had to make in the course of a day. It can be paradoxically freeing to be bound by rules.

It's a fairly light book, an easy read, but if you approach it thoughtfully, it can really raise some interesting questions. And it explains that ban on mixed fibers -- well, it explains it as much as anyone can explain it nowadays.

Kung Fu Chipmunk vs Tom's Natural Toothpaste

I use Tom's Natural Toothpastefor all my toothbrushing needs. It's pretty expensive at my regular grocery store. So when I saw it for a bargain price at Target, I bought two tubes. Unfortunately, those two tubes turned out to be Tom's Gel rather than their regular toothpaste. When I tried the Gel for the first time, I immediately tasted my mistake. Nasty is hardly the word for the bitter, evil taste embedded in this stuff. Their regular toothpaste is refreshingly lovely, but this gel was just plain evil.

I mentioned this incident to Bob and, when I told him I'd tossed the open tube of gel in the trash, he immediately suggested that maybe it would be better if I brought the tube to the shop. Seems he had an idea of what he'd like to do with a tube of toothpaste. I figured that his idea might be entertaining to watch and suggested we stage a battle between the thing Bob called his Kung Fu Chipmunk and my tube of toothpaste.

Jonathan Coulton on Presidents and The Future

An informative song by Jonathan Coulton, oh so apropos this year.



My favorite Coulton song is The Future Soon which, as Homer Simpson might say, is funny because it's true. It's like experiencing my middle school years all over again.

Here's a video for that song. The video is, well, I guess based on one of those game thingees them kids today are always playing so I don't understand it all myself, but the general idea is there and the actual song is still terrific.

Gotta Love the Classics

What's Wrong With My Cookies?

I bought a package of tasty Newman-O's the other day.

Emma and I each had one before Jennifer opened up the bag and called our attention to it. She ordered us to stop eating and asked us to examine the cookies a little more closely.

What the...?

Seems there were some kind of pustules on my cookies. Turns out the bag had a sell by date of Dec 2007. Hmmm.

Anybody want a used bag of cookies?

The Life and Death of a Beard

If Star Wars Had Been Made 20 Years Earlier...

Day 55 p.m.

Day 55 a.m.

Day 54

Day 53

Happy Birthday, Lisa!

In honor of my high school girlfriend Lisa's 11th birthday, here's a photo from prom.

Yes, this is the suit I discussed earlier.

New Sweaters

I told Bob about Wear Your Favorite Sweater Day and he responded by saying that we both needed new zipper sweaters.

So we headed over to Burlington Coat Factory and found these.

We'll be ready on March 20. Will you?